“Why do you keep this distance between us?’’ she asked him while looking at him directly in the eyes so that he will not avoid her questions as he usually did.
But as usual, in his off-hand manner, he just shrugged his shoulders to avert her gaze and question. But she was determined.
Finally, he took her by her shoulders, lifted up her chin to level her gaze to his so that they could contemplate each other and in a soft voice, whispered to her:
“You know, I have come to like this distance between us, because was it not for this distance, then there would be no excuse to get close to you. And you know what getting close to you entails”
She had no answer to that, because she knew very well the effect that his presence and this closeness had on her more so than his absence. In his absence, she could picture all sort of scenarios of them in her head, but when he was near to her, all those scenarios evaporated and gave way to the actual actions that he led on and knew perfectly what would attract and please her. He had a way around him, that she did not have to say anything, and he would just bring life to the craziest and most unimaginable fantasies of hers. That too, without her having to ask for anything. He knew how to please her, and he could arouse the deepest feelings of lust and desire in her. His mere touch had the ability to set her ablaze. He knew that too well. And, oh, how he marvelled to look at her face in all its glory and rapture, how he loved that glow and bliss on her face which he knew only he could provide her. As much as she craved for him and his touch and the feeling of wanton desires that he aroused in her, little did she know of the effect that she had on him, that her mere deep gaze could make him could go weak and he feared that he may do something rash when he met her such that these desires overcame him. That is why he tried to maintain this distance, a distance which he was only trying to fool himself with, because hard as he tried, he could not push her thoughts away from him, he yearned for her in the same way that she did.
He loved how she looked at him with pure adoration with the blissful look on her face after feeding her soul with that ardent feeling of love caught and detached. He loved how she arched herself against him, gripping on to him as if to never let go, and crying out his name over and over in their moments of passionate love making and madness. He loved how she would absorb every tiny little detail of him, going through every inch of his body with her dainty fingers.
Yes, call it madness, obsession, addiction, attraction or the unspoken word of ‘love’ because they did not know themselves how to term this stormy relationship that there was between them. Although they knew they did not belong together, yet they could not help themselves. It was something inconceivable and just ‘thinking’ about each other seemed like a sin, but there was a force greater than that which continuously pulled them together, that they had to be taken in and give in to their passion. It was not lust or only desire that they felt for each other, it was something way above, but unfortunately, they had no words to put in to their ‘relationship’. They had to take in this moment as it came and whatever they had together or how long they had each other, they had to take everything in its stride without any qualms, without any questions. They just had to hold on to each other as long as it took.
He came and swept her off her feet like a storm, without any warning, without any prior indication, without any motive. Just like that. And she readily swept in too, without any inhibition, without any shame, without any guilt. Just like that too, herself. It was as if she has been waiting for this gesture and indication from him, that is why no surprise overtook her when he approached her. It just happened.
And it just happened yet one more time.
It just took only one signal from him, and she did not think about anything else. She did not ask any questions; she did ask where he was and why he made her yearn for him like that. She did not care about the consequences, she was not afraid of anything, she felt free and felt herself soaring and she wanted to merge in in his embrace and lose herself completely to him. So powerful and strong were these luscious, tasty desires that she readily submitted to this devotion, which overflowed their souls with their passion. She burnt with this flaming desire, she allowed herself to be burnt and more than all, she enjoyed being burnt with him in that raging fire, putting shame to slumber and losing themselves in that obsessive agony.
The wanting inside her will never subside and this fascination will just keep her waiting…. for yet one more time.